America’s Natural Gas Alliance, bringing strip joints and door-to-door prostitutes to sleepy little towns.
Shock waves followed the news that out-of-town strip club operators wanted to bring their neon fleshpots to the county. Rumors followed that other forms of big city vice and wickedness already had arrived.
“The majority of citizens are offended and aghast that we now have to deal with this problem, when never before did we even consider it,” Pastor Pete Perez of the Grace of God Community Church said of the strip clubs.
“We were shocked when we learned we couldn’t stop them from coming and opening up, it being a first amendment, free speech issue, and all,” Perez said. “You never really give this situation a thought until it’s in your face.”
In response, the county formed a committee, which included Perez, that quickly drafted a “sexually oriented business” ordinance that may be the strictest in the state.
Approved two weeks ago, it regulates everything from the number of security guards required on the premises to the kind of drinking containers allowed.
It prohibits smoking, gambling and garbage burning, and lays out in graphic detail what legally constitutes “specified sexual activities,” a section not recommended for the weak of heart or those unversed in human anatomy.
“Understanding that we could not exclude them, we tried to impose as many regulations as we could,” said Commissioner Mike Uriegas, who oversaw the committee.
Vans come and pick the guys up and take them to see “out-of-town” girls. Motel managers and RV parks, where FEMA got rid of the formaldehyde trailers, are complaining about prostitution. The prostitutes go door-to-door in the RV parks.
Whoopee! Thank you ANGA.