If you ever need a friend who will be totally honest with you, I’m here.
Because it could mean that this “friend” is manipulative and only wants to dish out some covert abuse. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control without looking like control. Subtle controllers can be the worst of the verbal abusers because their behavior is confusing, hard to pin-point and describe. Have you been put down, corrected, criticized, belittled, trivialized or snubbed for your own good and under the guise of being “totally honest”? When words and actions don’t match up, that’s a good indication that something is rotten.
I am getting much better, early on, at listening to my gut tell me when something is a bubble off in a “friendship”.